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npydyuan commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Noted chaordic theoretician (nee von Smarty Pants). In later life, advanced lame-ass theory of the non-existence of adjectives; arguing that an adjective is really an adverb modifying an implied verb of existence. The theory rested on some dumb-ass idea that the conventional distinction between "existence" and other "actions" is artificial and misleading; that all verbs are, in their purest state, expressions, like everything else, of pure energy.
October 13, 2007
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Thank you, npydyuan. I needed the reminder. :-)
October 13, 2007
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Oh. My. Gosh. This is my favorite page, like, ever.
October 13, 2007
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Chained_bear, click on npydyuan's chaordic reference below for more jocularity. :-)
October 13, 2007
sionnach commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
It would appear that the good Professor has a little of that Loki shapeshifter magic that we expect to see in all our academic superstars. As the designation "nee von Smarty Pants" clearly indicates, von Smarty Pants was female. However, it appears that the masculinity of Professor von Schmartzenpanz is unquestioned. Was the apparent sex-change coincident with the name-change?
March 31, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Au contraire, sionnach. I think that 'nee' in this case refers to the Professor's bachelor name. He was Schmartzenpanz enough to object to the millennia-old institutional objectification of women as sexual slave labor by changing his name to his wife's (Dr. von Schmartzenpanz happens to be the Dean of Faculty). ;)
March 31, 2008
sionnach commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Sorry, c_b. I must respectfully differ. Regardless of the backstory, if nee was used to refer to the perfessor, than at that time the perfessor in question would have to have been female. Otherwise, the male form of the adjective, ne, would have been used.
March 31, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Yes, but supposing npydyuan made a typographical error (which I believe is what actually happened). If you check the chaordic page, which was created before this one, you'll see that the professor clearly is a male.
Besides, we know the guy. He's all man, Clyde.
March 31, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Also, sionnach may be forgetting, or perhaps wasn't aware, that Professor von Schmartzenpanz has had sexual reassignment surgery. That's why the accent was missing over the E (née). It also kind of explains his exceedingly postmodern feminism.
(*still trying*)
March 31, 2008
sionnach commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
I'm perfectly willing to believe that Prof von Schmartzenpanz's criticism is right there on the protean, spine-tinglingly transgressive cusp of post-feminist hermeneutic deconstructivist theory, but you guys really need to get the story straight (so to speak).
Which is it - born and intrinsically hypermasculine, as reesetee would have us believe, or shapeshifting sexual reassignment surgery?
Reesetee: I assume that last sentence in your most recent comment was really supposed to read:
"We know the guy, and he's DeMan." Teehee!
(OK: I'm going to run away and hide now)
March 31, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*bounces a cupcake off sionnach's head*
Chained_bear, where did you hear the rumor about Professor von Schmartzenpanz having sexual reassignment surgery? Geez, some stories just take on lives of their own....
March 31, 2008
bilby commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
You're getting him mixed up with Duffel van der Pinkenhosen.
March 31, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Duffel van der Pinkenhosen was actually the sworn enemy of von Schmartzenpanz. Bilby, how could you say that name?
March 31, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Really. Such cheek.
April 1, 2008
sionnach commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Since I am nothing if not a pointy-headed intellectual, attempts to bounce cupcakes, or any other type of baked goods, off my head are doomed to fail.
Mmmmm. Maraschino cherries. Yum!
April 2, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Yes, but how many of them can you collect on that pointy head at one time? *lobs another*
April 2, 2008
palooka commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Prof von Schmartzenpanz is definitely male because he doesn't have nipples. I've seen photos of his chest.
April 2, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
OK, then he's not only not a male, but he's also not a primate. MEN HAVE NIPPLES.
April 2, 2008
mollusque commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Palooka, that makes him an android. Is he anomphalous as well as immammate?
April 2, 2008
Prolagus commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
There's something magic in reading a mollusk's thoughts about an anomphalous being.
April 2, 2008
palooka commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Had to go to http://phrontistery.info/a.html to learn what anomphalous meant. What a vocabulary mollusque has.
April 2, 2008
sionnach commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Teufelsbrustwarzen!
The vile von Schmartzenpanz is intercepting my cupcakes by impaling them on his filthy breast-warts!!
April 2, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Mollusque, you're downright poetic about male nipples.
Palooka, he showed you those photos??
April 2, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Mollusque, are you telling me that Data on Star Trek doesn't have nipples?! *brokenhearted*
April 2, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
C_b, I hate to tell you this, but he doesn't even have that pasty skin in real life. Or else he'd just returned from a tropical vacation when I saw him on that talk show....
April 2, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
You must be speaking of his alter-ego, Brent Spiner.... Say, do you think they took off his nipples or covered them up when they put on that yellow skin for him to be Data?
*thinking about Brent Spiner's nipples*
April 2, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*trying desperately not to think about Brent Spiner's nipples*
April 2, 2008
yarb commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
I think this page was predestined to become a discussion of Brent Spiner's nipps.
April 2, 2008
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Of course. You can tell that from the title.
April 2, 2008
mollusque commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
For mollusks, the presence or absence of an umbilicus is crucial.
April 3, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Mollusque, that is a delightful sentence all by itself and should have its own page.
April 3, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
For a fascinating update on nipples, see press here for a random word. You can't make this stuff up.
April 3, 2008
mollusque commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Mollusks don't have nipples, therefore either Professor von Schmartzenpanz is a mollusk, or mollusks are androids.
April 3, 2008
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*thinking*
April 3, 2008
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
I just tried Wordnik's Random Word feature and it showed me maniples.
February 16, 2010
bilby commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
"Look at how closely the maniples are crushed together!" — The Lion's Brood
February 16, 2010
chained_bear commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Wow. Thanks for the reminder to reread this page. It gives me the happies every frickin' time.
February 16, 2010
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Ditto. :-)
February 18, 2010
yarb commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
I should thank Wordie for this addition to my family lexicon. We use it to mean smart-alec, clever dick, einstein, but also self-deprecatorily to acknowledge the correction of one's dumbism.
May 26, 2010
vanderpink commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
It would seem we meet again, professor.
February 28, 2011
vonschmartzenpanz commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Duffel! I should have known.
February 28, 2011
vanderpink commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Indeed - one would think a man skilled at creating algorithms could have predicted this.
February 28, 2011
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Um. Uh-oh.
*trips silent alarm*
February 28, 2011
reesetee commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*silently trips over alarm*
March 2, 2011
dontcry commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*is alarmingly silent*
March 5, 2011
Prolagus commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
*Is alarmed to feel overly trippy*
March 6, 2011
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Were you looking for nipplewort?
April 11, 2011
yarb commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
No, I don't want worts on my nipples, thank you.
April 11, 2011
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
"They presented a story that was narrated by the custodian at the Statue of Liberation, a tall, stooped man with a mop and a billed cap, drawn to look a lot like George Deasey. Apparently, the unfortunate fellow had a bone to pick with 'that long-underwear bunch.' He then went on to describe how, just that morning, he had watched in horror as Professor Percival 'Smarty' Pantz, hapless know-it-all rival of Dr. E. Pluribus Hewnham, the Scientific American, performed an 'electro-brain implantation procedure' on the Lady. The idea was to enlist the statue in the effort to keep the skies of Empire City clear of enemy planes and airships. 'She’ll be able to swat Messerschmitts like mosquitos!' Pantz crowed. Instead, thanks to the usual miscalculation on the part of Dr. Pantz, she had, upon awakening, gone off striding across the bay toward Empire City, her spike-crowned electro-head filled with homicidal urges. Of course the Scientific American, employing a handy giant robot of his own manufacture that he quickly fitted out with an enormous Clark Gable mask, was able to lure her back to her pillar, and then neutralize her using 'superdynamic electromagnets.' But it all made, to the exasperation of the janitor-narrator, an awful mess."
--from The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
June 9, 2011
yarb commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
"...a tall, stopped man..."
I'm sorry to hear about the Prof's internal congestion. No doubt D van der P is somehow behind this.
June 9, 2011
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
My typos are an integral part of the algorithm.
June 9, 2011
yarb commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
On closer reading, it's not the Prof who's stopped up.
That's a relief!
June 9, 2011
takchess commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
R.
I never met the Prof. However there was a time in my life where I used to do cardwarp.
Jim
February 23, 2012
ruzuzu commented on the word professor von schmartzenpanz
Takchess--I've never heard of that. Is it anything like The Timewarp?
February 23, 2012